Thursday, October 29, 2009

{I'm outta here!  See ya!}


1st stop:
~Arizona
~Family
~Halloween fun


2nd stop:
~San Diego
~Ship
~Catalina
~Ensenada (The buttpit of Mexico)

3rd stop:
~Vegas baby!
~Girls trip


10 days........ahhhhhhh 
 I predict that I will be very fat and happy when I return!

See you on the flip flop...
Live long and prosper.....
Peace out!!!

(I'm too excited to sleep!)

{{{{{Happy Halloween}}}}}
Hollywood style



Jax is destined to carry on Michael Jackson's style and moves!
You should see his moon walk!

 

My dad has called Jax "Jacko" for years......The name came in handy this Halloween.
Jax's acting class had a monster mash party.
He was the only M.J........he liked it that way :)

Riv made Edward Scissorhands look kick ass!
We got child-proof scissors from the dollar store and took out the cutting blades.  Wouldn't want him to get written up as a threat to other children at school ya know.


The entire 6th grade did the "Thriller" dance.
It was AWESOME!!!!!
Riv's wig was down around his lips by the time he was done!
Boogy Woogy!


Ok.....so you have all seen these kind of people.
The ones that think their child is the ONLY one that needs to have footage/documentation of the event.
This ass-hat stood the entire dance taking pics of his darling offspring.
These are the pics that I got of River dancing.....
NONE!!!
Mr. Blue Shirt was in my view the ENTIRE song!
So Un-cool!


{Torn between two loves}



Yes......what you are looking at is my lost  wedding ring (left), along side my new wedding ring.
I found the original yesterday.
The details of the find, are bizarre and almost chilling.
Let's just say, I think paranormal activity was involved.
I will go into that on another post.

I called my insurance agent today, to let him know that the M.I.A. ring was not so M.I.A.
It was the right thing to do,
morally and legally.
Truthfully, I am not ready to be somebody's bitch in 10 x 10 cell
because of insurance fraud!

The really, really shitty thing about this is,
that my options are heartbreaking.

1~pay every little penny back to the insurance company
(they don't take payments)
2~Give them one of my rings

I seriously can not justify having two (expensive) wedding rings.

I have grown to absolutely love the new ring.

The old ring holds many memories and sentimental value.
AND......I think they are both beautiful.


This makes me as sick as the day I lost the damn thing!!!!!!!

How do you decide between two loves?
What do I do?????



{I was running with boys instead of learning my ABC's}


I know that  I complain all the time about stupid blogger program, and my NO spell check........
I also know, that I complain about what a dunce I am at spelling with my very own brain.
I wrote my donut blog and felt weird about the word "disgusted".
It didn't look right......I kept going over it thinking, "nah, I surely know how to spell disgusted", and left it alone........
It was written like a pre-schooler.......disCusted.
Which is what I am in myself!

Truth be told....sometimes I even forget how to spell "THE". That truly is the truth.

I'm pretty sure looking back on my education,
I knew more about boys, fast cars, and music than I did anything coming from text books.
Now we all pay for my delinquency.
Sorry.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

{Why dad???? WHY?}


You know that I am on a donut cut off.
I'm going at it cold turkey.
I have a vacation with tight clothes I'm trying to fit into.
I have bluntly asked you to NOT bring
fresh, chocolate dripping, Dunford donuts to my home.
The temptation is too great.
Are you trying to sabotage my fried food sobriety?

Last night I caved.
A cloudy hand with a "come here" finger was calling me
 from a white, waxed bag on my counter,
(THE ONE MY DAD BROUGHT OVER!)
I slowly approach.
The scent was surrounding my nostrils. Holding them hostage.
My mind said, "run Jolie.....run away NOW".
It was too late. I was already a prisoner.
In a trans, my hand reached in and found what my mouth had been seaching for.
A fudge covered cinnibun.
The entire thing was gone in 5 seconds!

I am now feeling discusted, shameful and a little like Homer Simpson (mmmmm donuts).
DAD! You know I have absolutely NO control over sugary fried carbs!!!!
You see people, my dad too is a donut addict.
It's not all our fault.
They say some addictions are genetic.
We come from a long line of donut abusers.

I hope one day to be able to say,
"I see that donut......I don't need that donut"
I know my life can be a full of sweetness.......without donuts!
(P.S. the above picture statement is ABSOLUTELY true!
A dozen......ALL in one sitting. I'm seriously a sick individual.)

Monday, October 26, 2009

{They are just borned that way}


Ever notice the first noises that a boy makes in his life are:
 farts, growling trucks, and shooting guns.
Their hands know how to make the
"two finger thumb gun"
and the "pow, pow...pow, pow" sound
before they ever actually hear or see a gun.
It's instinctual.

 


My boys are at an age, where they can have an understanding of artillery.
Comprehend the rules, have respect, and fear the power.

Randy took them to Cedar Fort for a few hours of target practice.
He said that they were both very attentive, and careful.
Rand was proud.

Riv is very curious and thrilled by all guns.
I'm good with that.  
I was raised around guns, and I also find them fascinating.

But now, he wants to be able to deer hunt.  
His right of passage into manhood I guess.
Neither Randy or I enjoy killing animals.
Just knowing Riv, I'm not so sure he will either.
We will start small.....maybe rabbits.
He can get a feel for the chase, 
then a feel for being grown enough to shoot it, 
skin it, and eat it.
I'm not really sure how to feel about this stuff.
I just keep telling myself,
"they are boys, you can't shelter them forever.  they have a right to experience all things"

How do you feel about allowing your children to find passion in things that you don't necessarily agree with or enjoy?

{What to wear this winter...}




I think these are ear muffs.
Although they are so round and full of stuffing,
they don't even cover your ears.
Apparently "looking" like your ears are warm is what is in style this season.
Either that, or Princess Leah is making a comeback.



Sunday, October 25, 2009

{Just trying to be healthy......
where does it get me?}


Bought this juicer on clearance.
I was excited to get it for 75% off.


The kids were anxious to try every kind of fruit and vegetable.
We had some fun experiements.

 

A $45 fruitstand purchase later........



It looked like puke.
And tasted like a ground up shit burger!!!


Say no to juicers!!!!!!
I don't care if  the purity and nutrition adds 10 years to your life!!!!
Your tastebuds will hate you forever!

Saturday, October 24, 2009


{October Organizing.......
Out-of-control}


Dad bought me these freakin FAB-U-LUS pans.
I think they are a work of art to cook with, as well as look at.
I wanted to find something that I could use to store and display the beauties on.
Also, my kitchen sucks a big donkey kong when it comes to storage!
I found this industrial rack at Target, bought some S hooks from Lowes, and filled it with all of my cooking gadgets that were previously shoved into small spaces.


Then I tackled the pantry
DU, DU, DUUUUUNNNNNNN!
HUGE undertaking!
One black Hefty bag......FULL!
Again, too embarrassed to post a before pic.
I'm feeling very fung sui and clean.
This is the kind of stuff that will make me love and appreciate my home......especially when I get sick of the place.
Come to think of it..........
A Vacation will do that for me too :)


{Anyone got some pomade for
g-ma?}


Last weekend, grandma was excited about her upcoming hair cut appointment.
She was stongly thinking about having it cut/styled the same as
Mia Michaels (dancing with the stars choreographer).
Sounded adventurous and fun.





Then, I happened to be at Tracy's when D.W.T.S. came on.
We see Mia..........and her new BUZZ cut.
(rumor is she has cancer, so sad)
"OH hell no!  Don't even tell me g-ma went Susan Powter on our ass!"
Tracy was on the horn immediately to g-ma.
G-ma squashed our fears, and said she didn't
 "go Powter" on our ass.


This is her new "Mia" style with a couple stripes of
pinkish purple down the sides.

 


I love it!!!!
It is screams "Laura is here to be seen".
I appreciate that G-ma does what she wants with her style,
and doesn't let the
" 70's something granny" magazine
control how she is "supposed" to look, just to fit in with the stereotypical grandma. 
She never has been stereotypical......
no reason to start now!


Thursday, October 22, 2009

{I'm sure you're laughing.....
but not surprised}



Betcha can't guess what my little entertainer wants to be for Halloween!

"Doesn't matter if you're black AND white" by Jax :)

{The baby and the old bitch}


Danna came to visit with her 6 month old puppy "Patches".
Miss Kitty was so excited to play, lick/sniff another dog's privates, and have dominance over the young pup.


It was super fun for 6 minutes.
Crotch-ity old Miss Kitty gave a bark to Patches that I interpreted as,
" Look you little bitch, a sniff, a lick and a chase is good for one time only....
I'm old and tired.
Ever heard of PERSONAL SPACE?"
After saying all these things, she layed in the sun and snored.
Patches patiently waited next to her in the hopes that she would soon be ready to rumble again.

Never happened.
Miss Kitty is so my kid!
{Where the hell am I???}



I had a moment of confusion as I was walking through Target.
I was pretty sure that I was just in the WOMENS department seconds before I saw these.
I literally stopped.
Looked around for the "Children's Dept." sign.
Saw 40 DD bras that confirmed that I was still in the Women's Dept.
I said outloud, "You've got to be kidding me.....this is just gross"
Yes, what you are looking at, are footed "sock monkey" and  "bunny" pajamas sized and sold to grown people!


The thing that I am most disturbed by.....
and when it comes down to it, I'm curious,
WHY WOULD YOU WEAR THESE?????
My boys, who are considered children, won't even wear these anymore!

These footed creepers are stupid!
And you look stupid wearing them!

I think they should be outlawed....
They are the p.j. poster child
 of the downfall of womanhood!

Wearing these create:
~bad self esteem,
~no sex
~old maid syndrome
WRONG......just WRONG!

Shame on you Target for even making me look at these, let-alone sell them!




Tuesday, October 20, 2009


{What is a girl to do???}


Taking a few hours out of the day,
(because it seriously takes me that long!)
I started my fall-closet-clean out.
I think I got crazy,  and manic about getting organized!
I left myself with ONLY these jeans!
(well, not counting the 7 pair I have in the laundry hanging dry, but that is beside the point!)
What is a girl to do when she has to go through the winter with
ONLY 40-something pair of blue butt love????
Ahhh, you just wouldn't understand......
You all have booty.  And nice one's at that!
I am a square, flat-butt, epitome of a white girl!
(yah....thanks dad, you had to pass that genetic defect on to me huh?)
I count on these babies to give me some sort of facade that I have some junk in my trunk!

Forgive me....I might be in a funk for a while...
just until I get used to the reality of my closet being so sparse.
And when I say a while....that means until I hit the mall at the end of the week :)

Monday, October 19, 2009

{Lake Point}



Sunday afternoon, we drove to Lake Point.
Along the way, we picked wild sunflowers to put on her grave.
We had a fall wreath, ribbon and grapevine that added to the decor.
Fallen leaves from a nearby tree skirted the frame of her memorial.
"It turned out beautiful momma", Jax said.
We all tearfully agreed.


We didn't want to impose on Uncle Randy, but we all longed to see him and the Jackman crew.
After a brief call, we were invited to his home.







The kids were precious!
Beautiful
Funny
Full of personality!



Uncle Randy told us of his daily routine.
This collage lies next to his bed.
When he wakes, he looks at it.
I'm sure many emotions vary with each glance.
We laughed at the family's transformations through the picture years,
and agreed that Janin just kept getting prettier with age.

It was a day of sorrow and joy,
and tears came for both.
My grandma needed this day.
I am happy that we could come together to give it to her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


This is a shout out for my lil' rocker buddy, Madison!
You and me girl!
Next concert for sure!

{Sharing the finer things in life}



Saturday evening, we showed up on the Sims' doorstep tired, stinky, and starving!  We had been working at Carol's house all day and were thankful that a home cooked meal was waiting for us.
As we pulled into the drive, I could smell the yummy fragrance of:
The best meatloaf I have ever tasted.....
Mashed sweet potatoes.....
Steamed broccaflower.....
and....AND....AND
Hot apple crisp!
No, I'm not even kidding.
Then Derek opens a wonderful bottle of wine, and reminds me that it is from his favorite cave in California.
What I had forgotten, was that this was $75/bottle wine!!!
I was swigging it down like we could just go get another six-pack from Walmart!
What the hell Jolie??!!!??!?!
When Derek opened a 2nd bottle of different wine, he said,
"Can you tell the difference between $75 wine and $6 wine?"
I'm like..."no."
Then I realized what he just said!
They were so generous to share their favorite expensive wine.....
with US hillbillies!!!
Now, that's good people right there!!
I only hope that they give me time to learn the difference with an experienced palate!  That bottle was NOT wasted on me!  I promise!  I will make you proud some day with my "wine knowledge".  Don't give up on me :)
Thanks friends!

~THEN~

Lisa brings out a gift that she bought me from their recent anniversary (hubba, hubba) trip to NY.

What I'm about to show you, will make Paula......




Envious because I know how much she loves these!




My very own Pashmina scarf!!!!!!!






And in perfect leopard style!!!

Lisa.....girl! You know me so well!
Thanks!  I promise to do this wrap justice!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

{It takes a village......}



A couple weeks ago, Riv brought home an announcement from school.
The one that invites mothers and sons to share a night of pizza and reading.
It was on a day that I would have been in AZ.  Riv and I were both disappointed...............until..........
I suggested that he call Paula and ask if she could be his OTHA MOTHA for the evening.


Paula immediately said yes,
(even though she had a close friend in town staying at her house!) and told Riv that she was truly honored that he had asked her.
My trip to AZ got canceled do to Jax's swine flu scare,
 Paula and I both assumed that I would be attending
the motha/son night with Riv.
Riv had a hard time finally coming clean with me, because he didn't want to hurt my feelings.........
He was still looking forward to having a special night with Paula, and wanted her to still go with him :)
They have many things in common....
reading, deep conversation, and challenging
each others knowledge of history.
Riv said that Paula makes him feel important and special
and he knows she loves him.
That statement.....just in itself.......
made me more connected to Paula
than any "all night talking" girls trip could.

Is there possibly a better feeling than when another person 
genuinely takes the time to know your child,
and shows them love and attention for who they are????
And the best thing.....
They can truly understand
why your kid is so loveable :)

I respect, admire and love you Paula.
Many, many, many thank you's......
just for being you.
Paula=genuine

Paula met Riv's teacher Ms. Murdock, and received a strange stare.
Teacher was trying to recollect if she had met Paula/Riv's mother at back to school night.
Paula and Riv laughed and explained that she was filling in for me.


Motha/son had to complete a 9 squared sheet 
of tasks to take home a prize.
A WHOLE PIZZA!
(only because they had so many left over.....
Not as many people attended as they had counted on)

 



My children are fortunate to have many
strong role models in their life.
MOST are women.
They are loved, respected and taught
valuable approaches to the world.
They have people that they can confide in
and depend on outside of their parents.
Do I think this takes away anything
from my parenting skills????
Hell NO!
These children were not given to me so that
I can be their one and only life teacher......
I am the one that chooses the people
who intimately interact with them,
But they deserve to experience many relationships
that hold sacrifice, love, and worth.

My friends and close family have stepped in
 to be amazing aunts to my boys.
Before my sons came into my life,
I imagined how life would be for them.
I had heartache for them
thinking that they would be growing up
without my brother for an uncle,
and of course I have no sisters,
so they would have no aunts....
which meant no cousins.
I couldn't have been more displaced with worry.
They have people who have chosen to fill those roles and who have earned the names
Aunt, Uncle and Cousin.
And the whole thing makes sense to me now.
Randy and I were always destined for a
Melting Pot Family
So thank you to all my fondue family that have slowly blended your influence and warmed us with your love.
It takes a village to raise these children....
I'm glad you all are my "Village People"



Friday, October 16, 2009

{Stupid, stupid sick season!}


I am supposed to be in Arizona right now visiting my mother-in-law.  I chose to stay home to take care of my baby.
Right thing to do.......but it still sucks!




  It is sick season, and the  doctor's office was full, and anyone with a cough had to wear a mask.
The doctor didn't wait for the test results to come back, and diagnosed Jax with swine flu.  He started on tamaflu.
The results came back yesterday.....no swine.  Thank goodness!  Fevers are gone, but he is still coughing uncontrollably with snot dripping down his lip. 


Being quarantined to the house for DAYS......brought out the Betty, Julia, Martha in me.
We made a double chocolate cake with fudge icing for aunt Janin's birthday,
muffins, breads, soups and casseroles.
A lot of comfort foods.
Yes, Jax being sick is getting me fat!





I know aunt J. would have loved this chocolate dream.
Probably one of the most delicious cakes I have ever made!