{October goodbye's}

I ended out the last days of October with of course,

Halloween celebrations.

I had a drink with my favorite Hallo"weenie"

Uncle Genie-weenie.

I was persuaded to buy rugby tickets by a scary-hairy Baywatch reject.

I threw-up a little in my mouth and felt like acid had eaten my eyeballs.....

the pain only lasted a minute or two.

I think the psychological damage was the most scarring.

The next day, we carved/painted punkins.

Riv worked with the precision and skill of a surgeon.

He threw around the word "incision" often.

His work paid off, and we rushed to the porch to light the candle.

Jax's punkin was a bit rotten in the guts, so he ended up painting his.

I think he was going for a self portrait.

And look who graced us with her Diva Witch presence!!!

Thank God for Aunt T!!!!

She made our evening fun and adventurous!!!

I am such a humbug when it comes to anything organized....

closets, religion, and holidays!!!!

I did make caramel apples, cinnamon rolls and chili tho :)

I'm always up for the organized food!

After 2.5 hours of running the streets, the boys came home excited to do the "annual candy trade".

This annual activity usually results in some kind of argument.

Mainly because one kid tries to trade a hard piece of peppermint candy for a full sized snickers!!

They are on to each others strategies and the barter is more like pirating, and then it all goes down hill from there.

It's comical to watch.

Sadly.....I think this is the last year of house-to-house trick-or-treating for my boys.

Yes, they are at that age that it is no longer "acceptable" to knock on doors and ask for candy.

That is,

unless her name is Candy.

har de har har

~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm going to leave you with one last picture.

WARNING!!!

It is even more traumatizing than the scary-hairy Baywatch dude!

ARE YOU READY??

ARE YOU SURE?????

Ok, you asked for it!!!!!

Someone just HAD to post their "Christmas Countdown Snowman" in the window on Halloween night for all to see.

Why?

Why?

Why?

CAN'T WE JUST GET THROUGH FREAKIN HALLOWEEN WITHOUT A REMINDER THAT CHRISTMAS IS

 56 DAYS, 7 HOURS, 35 MINUTES, AND 19 SECONDS

away from our pocketbooks???????

signing off now,

the Grinch

{A virtual party}

Jax had his "class" Halloween party today.

In the week leading up, I was curious of how this whole thing would play out.

I mean.....it's all through a computer.....how do you have a class party when everyone is sitting in their own homes???

"Hey dude!!!  Party is at my house!!"

Jax's online teacher had me send a picture of Jax in his costume.
Jax was laughing and excited when he saw his picture come on screen.

She did a parade with the pictures and had each child tell the other students what they were by typing it into a conference box.

Then they did pumpkin art, word finds, etc.

Jax had a lot of fun and got to see the faces of his classmates.

This is the stuff that is bizarre to me.....and I still think it's weird in a dorkhole kind of way.

A. Party. On. The. Computer.

Can you see how stupid this sounds?

ahhhhhhhhhh....whatcha gonna do?

Then came the time that the students had to guess what the teacher's costume was.

They had to ask her yes and no questions.

Oh....the anticipation was intense!!!

She finally revealed herself!!!!

This was Jax's reaction.

A state of shock!

He then said, "This is just flat out degrading and humiliating!  I feel bad for her just standing there like that in a birthday bag!"

I had to agree.

Sometimes homeschooling makes me say, "WTF?!?!?!??!"

Is this for real?

It's just so .....so..... virtual.

{Dress Code}



This is us...
every morning
teacher and student

Here at JD Elementary,
slippers, jammie pants and a robe is the official school dress code.
No bandannas, dress suits, gang colors, or skirts below the knee allowed.

If you are cited and get ISS (in school suspension),
then.......
i guess........
you are in the same boat as you were anyway!

whatever!

just wear what you want

{Sometimes I forget}


We all have our insecurities.

Name your poison:
legs
butt
arms
feet
teeth
stomach
boobs
hair
age
personality
the never ending list


Sometimes, OK a lot of times, I get self absorbed and only think of the superficial,
and how I'm not "picture perfect".

Then I remember.....perfect isn't real.
perfect isn't real
perfect isn't real
perfect isn't real

And after repeating this true statement in my head,
even the scars on my face become an imperfect love that I have for myself. 

We are our own enemy.
We have to stop!


Ladies, you are beautiful
you are sexy
you are breathtaking
you are unique
especially with your real imperfections.
Believe it and pass it on!

{Jager is weak in comparison}

Ogden Utah

Who would have thunk it????

This new "Herbal Spirit" is distilled in Ogden Utah.

Looks like Jager, tastes like Jager,

but gets you more shnockered than Jager!

Jager is 70 proof

Underground is 80 proof

The medicine looking bottle was kind of weird,

but the taste and effects are dreamy :)

Support Utah!

Go Underground!



{Taking on a new snail shell}

With River's move to the basement, Jax took over Riv's old room.

The room is bigger, the closet is bigger, and the bed is bigger compared to his original bedroom...

and most importantly....

it has a TV!!!!

((Whoa!!!  Didn't realize how smeared the mirror was..

Sorry about that. 

I'm blaming that oversight on the camera flash.

 Come on....go with me on this one!

Elise...you don't see anything...this never happened...

put down the windex))

Jax's decided decor was cars.

He had found Randy's old, red framed posters, and insisted that these hang in his room.

Like Riv, he had to have a neon lighted clock.

I found the red, yellow, green stick-on stoplights at Target for nine bucks.

Jax is very different than River.

He has minimal collectibles, and likes to keep his room maintenance free without clutter.

I think it's because it is comforting for him to have a room without chaos and over stimulation.

I've always admired him for that.

Still working on the TV/game set up...

A little "cordy" right now.

Because he has school and chores, he has to ask before turning on his games or TV.

But even if it stayed unplugged forever, he would still be happy just to say that he was old enough to have one in his room!

He's waited patiently for many years.

SERIOUSLY!!!!

THIS IS A BIG DEAL PEOPLE!!!!

Even though the bed is a captains with drawers underneath, we moved his dresser into the closet. 

Jax has become very attached to it.  He's had it with him since he was a baby and the sentimental value that it was G & G DeVries' makes it something he just won't part with.

I see you are asking,

"So Jolie, what ever in the world are you doing with Jax's old bedroom?"

Wait til you see what we've done with that space!!!!

Little house on the scary to be continued......

{Yes, I would love a needle or 3}




Miss Kitty had blood drawn today :(
They were testing for kidney infection, diabetes, and cancer.


The results came back........
there isn't anything life threatening!!!
((((praise dog!!!!))))
BUT
It did tell us that Miss Kitty is going through the "Change".
A hormonal imbalance.
Nothing a little drug once a day can't help!


~~~AND THEN, THERE IS ME~~~

No...I do not have Bell's Palsy.

And yes, I realize Bell's Palsy is nothing to laugh about....
at least not with a symmetrical face.
(ok shoot me!!!!  I don't even care right now!)

This is me with numb mouth on left and right.
Starting from my eyeball down to the waddle under my chin!!!!
I had three old silver fillings replaced with white.

I said, "let's get r done all in one shot!!!  yee haw!"
as the dentist looked at me like I was a sadomasicist fool.

He was right about the fool part.

2 hours later.......
me no look pretty
me very hungry
me mouth achy

and I volunteered for it all!!!!

I just want to yell
"no more yankee my wankee!!!! 
the donger need foood!!!!"

but it would probably come out something like this.....
"lo mer yankee li mankee..
da donga leed pude"
considering that my lips will not move in the directions I ask them too...
hence the drool dripping on my skarfie.

Must I remind you.....
this was a volunteered endeavor.

I hope your day was nice and didn't involve needles :)
xoxo
the smart one

{Room fit for a tween}

While reaching the entrance of River's new basement bedroom, 

the DO NOT ENTER sign reminds me to ask the King-Tween's permission before entering his "king-shit" dome.

Asking to enter is number one rule in this bachelor crib!!

Once you have the blessing of the royal hynus,

you may step in.

Remember to only look and please be sure NOT to touch!

Sacred stuff up in here!

You could get lashings... or even worse.....

86'd from the joint FOREVER

FOREVERFOREVERFOREVER!

Decor of choice: ROCK-IT-OUT!

Complete with a new queen sized captains bed with a masculine pleather headboard.

The neon light guitar clock was a hanging that River paid for himself.

He just HAD to have it!!!!

He also picked out the bedding which we bought online.

Who knew you couldn't run down to your local WallyWorld and grab a Rock-n-Roll bed in a bag???

NOOOO...that would be way too cheap and easy!

Check out the old skool butt rockin stereo system.

Also bought online....but used of course!

This genUine 90's JVC, 5 disc CD, dual cassette player with big balled speakers was only $35 on KSL!!!

This was something that I wanted Riv to have.

My stereo, music and headphones were what saved me from myself many times as a teen.

The library and entertainment area.

The "getting smart" and Chuck Norris area.

Very soon this will also be called the

 "throw all your crap on this desk" area too.

And the "geeeetar jam session studio" area.

This room has been a blast to put together.

This room is MY teenage dream room!!!

(for real!)

It is a thrill to be able to give it to my kid!!!

Because River Rocks!!!!

{Good Morning Sunshine}

As I came fumbling down stairs to make coffee at 6 this morning,

I rubbed the goobs out of my eyes wondering if I was really seeing what I thought I was seeing out my back window!!!!

Out loud I said to myself,

"Holy ShitBalls!

Winter is here."

and then I shuffled off in a depression to find my 20-below robe and slippers.

I wasn't quite ready for this yet.

{Surprise Dinner Date}

Randy had orchestrated a date for the two of us.

The only details that he would let me know, was to be ready and famished by 4:00 pm on Friday for a 5:30 dinner reservation.

I had been trying to get more information from him the entire week, but he held strong and stayed tight lipped.

(It drives me insane to have a secret that I can't figure out)

He pleasantly surprised me as we drove up Millcreek Canyon and ended at the

Log Haven Lodge.

We started with a good cold Cutthroat beer.

Appetizer~

The soup was butternut squash puree with barley and hazelnuts sunk to the bottom of the bowl.

Hazelnut oil and cream drizzled on top.

OMG!!!!!

I let all of my manners fly out the window!

I never looked up from the divine sauce, and I'm pretty sure that there was some obnoxious slurping that could be heard from my squash mustached mouth!

Entree~

Organic, Free-Range chicken thigh basted with pomegranate sauce.

The spinach, wild rice and red pear salad was tart and scrumptious with an orange vinaigrette.

Dessert~

A strong cup of coffee paired with apple cobbler and cinnamon ice cream for me....

and some kind of blackberry creme thingy for Randy finished our evening.

(I couldn't get the camera out in time before Rand had his dessert gone!)

After unbuttoning our britches and doing the fat belly waddle, we walked down the cobblestone path with the new winter nipping at our nose.

 Sometimes I take my hubs for granted.....

Shame on me!

This was courting his wife at his best.

What a man!

{Dr. What and the Who Rider}

The children's Halloween party at the Christian Reform Church was held last night.

Jax was the "Ghost Rider" but kept telling everyone he was "Night Rider".

I said he would have to be drunk and look like the "Hoff" to be the Night Rider!

He didn't get it.

Riv was NOT going to even go to this thing...

let-a-lone go in costume!

He is 12 ya know!!!!

Too old to want to do childish things like Halloween!

SHEESH!!!!

I bought him a Dr. costume in the small chance that he would change his mind.

As soon as we pull into the parking lot and he sees a gazillion kids running around in costume, he started yanking open the bag and getting suited up :)

Paging Dr. Love....Paging Dr. Love

Riv was making sure that Randy had a heart....

I was willing to perform mouth to mouth on Randy if need be :)

Skeleton faces were running amuck high on sugar!

screaming! jumping!

climbing! rolling!

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Whew....glad Randy and I cut out to get a cup of coffee.

Dr. D. Capitate loved the table of gross Halloween food...

brains, bloody heart, cut off fingers, slimy eyeballs, etc.

The planning committee did a great job!

Jax spent a lot of his time bobbing for donuts and making the girls laugh.

This party was a great way to get us all in the Halloween spirit!

Randy can't wait to run the boys around our neighborhood....

Riv thinks that he could possibly trick-or-treat one last year....

just so he doesn't hurt his dad's feelings and to support his brother of course.

{Eye Candy}

Just a little glimpse for those of you missing

fall in the Utah Mountains.

Big Cottonwood Canyon

10-17-10

I saw a lady standing by her car on the side of the road.

 I could tell she wasn't from this neck of the woods....

totally assuming she was European by her look and clothing.

Her mouth open, her head slowly scanning from left to right and back again, arms down by her side in overwhelm.

I realized in that moment, how birthing and glorious this must be to eyes that have never seen this kind of landscape.

Mother Nature proves that she can still leave you speechless when she decides pull out her make-up pallet and paint the town mountain red.