Monday, June 27, 2011


{I'm just thankful no one died}


Whew!!!!  They did it!!!
The boys made it through the week of rehearsals and gave us an amazing show on Saturday!!!
I can not believe the amount of work all of the children dedicated to their parts.
It really confirms the spirit and power children hold.


I will start the slideshow with a disclaimer:
This man, you all know him as THE RAND, was the photographer.
I can tell you this.....
things looked much better in person compared to what you see in these pics!!!!




This is a good example of what I mean!!!
Chelise and I looked WAAAAYYY hotter
 (or at least I'm pretty sure we did...now I'm doubting)
when you looked at us with your own eyeballs and not thru this F-U-G captured moment!
I'm blaming my thick face, eye wrinkles, cheesy smile and bad hair color to The Rand's photographic disability.  Cuz ya know, it's always the man's fault!


The boys had many supporting friends/family in the audience.
Good buddy Gale and Sharon (our supah-fly neighbors),
Grandma Carol (She's the one that you can only see one eye closed and a partial tip of nose)
Auntie E (She's the one red eye and ear lady)
Again, the wonderful photography that happens in the hand of THE RAND!


Shelbs and Justin


and...the Cashman begging for dum (aka gum).


The show had children of all school ages.
It was a kick to watch each of their personalities.
Of course, the younger they were, the more we ooo'd and ahhh'd over their cute voices and dance steps.


A line of toy soldiers sure highlighted the ADHD factor in boys!



This group of kids would sporadically march through the play singing an ABC song and skipping.
Some of them would sing, "A-B-C", then run out of steam because of the foot work involved, then pick back up at "H-I-J".



The evil puppeteer, Stromboli, was perfectly casted, and a DYNA-MO on stage.
but off stage.....total stank DORK-O.
He is definitely made for Broadway in a BIG way!



So, Jax's character was named "Candlewick".
This is the name that made me assume he was a candle.
Apparently, I was wrong!
He is Pinocchio's best friend, and wears a white t-shirt and leather.
He has a gang of lil' Candlewicks that mirror his image.
I don't get what leather and sunglasses has to do with a candlewick, but who am I to say they gave a stupid name to my kid?!?!?
Jax and Pinocchio had a solo song.
Jax did a great job memorizing ALL of his lines, and really got into his character.... especially when he was turned into a jackass and had neck ties as donkey ears.

We had some concern just moments before the show started.
There was a scuffle back stage and Jax almost killed a boy!
I'm not exaggerating when I use the word kill.

Luckily, River and some advising adults stepped in when they saw Jax jump from the floor with fire shooting from his eyes and heading for the other kid's neck!

The story told to me, was that this other kid kept pushing Jax's buttons, (not an uncommon occurrence when it comes to Jax), Jax had done well up until this point to ignore the kid and move on.
BUT Jax just couldn't take it anymore once the kid (who happens to be Hispanic), called Jax an asshole in Spanish!  
The "Spanish asshole" comment was interpreted to Jax by a Chinese kid!?!?!?
Jax went ape-shit and went in for the mexi-retaliation.
He was restrained and calmed down by a couple of adult helpers.
These kids down here have NO idea who they are dealing with... 
do they?!?!?!?
They will soon learn that 
you can't scare crazy!
And when I say crazy, I mean Jax.
???????you all think I make this shit up don't you???????
All I know, is that there was a Jax, a Chinese kid, a Mexican, and a Spanish Asshole involved.

I'm just thankful no one died.
(you don't know how many times I've said that at the end of the day!)






Then we have Riv :)
The Assistant Director/Stage Manager!!!
The dude was exhausted from all of the hard work he had put in.


He was happy to be seen in front of the crowd since he had been behind the scenes all week.


The director called Riv on stage to introduce his "right hand man" and acknowledge his works.
After the evening show was over, and we helped pack up the set, the director pulled River, the Pinocchio, and the Cat character to the side and invited them to an acting summer camp in Montana for a week.
River was honored and proud :)
It would be an amazing experience for Riv, and probably only cost me $10,000!
We will keep you posted.
Be looking for the donation envelope in the mail :)
Only a dollar a day can feed a starving actor in Montana.
Make checks payable to me....



The boys were so damn cute on stage, standing side by side.
They gave each other the "right on" nod, then moved into their sacred "brother" hand shake*.
*consists of some knuckles, elbows, chest bump and twittering fingers.

This momma couldn't be more proud of her boys and thankful for the support that was given to them.

hmmmmm, I wonder what's next???
Maybe Spanish/Chinese lessons???
aaaaaa assholio muy kung pow




Friday, June 24, 2011

{ahhh!!! it burns!}


After yesterdays Pinocchio rehearsals, they had a "stage make-up" workshop.
Jax was the best Spidey-man I've ever seen in real life!!!!!
He was doing good with the paint mask for about an hour....
THEN it started to BURN!!!!!

"MOM!!!!! IT BURNS!!!
 IT BURNS!!!! 
GET IT OFF!!!
AAAHHHHHAAAAARRRRAAAHHHH!!!!!"

I sent him straight to the kitchen sink along with my make-up remover and a washcloth in hand.
We started by sticking his head in direct aim of the water sprayer,
then I smeared his face in remover cream.
SCRUB
SCRUB
SCRUB


and this is as good as it got!!!!
my own rasp-berried Groucho Marx!!!!
At this point, we were declaring war on this shiz!!!!
My ammo????
A bath pouf
A squirt of shampoo
A dash of mineral oil
And a pump of Randy's industrial hand cleaner!

Now that Jax is free of any residual face paint, zits or skin,
we are careful to keep him out of the sun and the make-up chair!

Poor kid! 
 He just wanted to save the world [and pretty red headed girls] with his Spidey alter-ego.
Who knew he would have to be de-faced and scrubbed like dirty potato!?!




Thursday, June 23, 2011


{the lunch lady}



This is what you get when Chelise makes your lunch......


effed up sandwiches with love notes.....


and a TO DO list along with daily affirmations* to help throughout your day.

*Randy has been sent to the Indian reservations in the middle of nowhere to work in the mines.
Along the way, he listens to a Native ratio station.
Supposedly, there is a lot of long breath pausing, and every word is drawn out with a hhhhhhhhh at the end:
~YAH TA HAY
~NOWHHH [pause, heavy breath] 
GO OUT, [pause, heavy breath]
HAVE YOURSELF A GOODHH DAYHHHH
~HIYIYIYI HIYIYIYI HIYIYIYI
~ITS GONNA BE HHHHHOT TODAYHHH [pause, heavy breath], 
STAY INSIDE YEHHHR CHEVY TRUCKHHHH
~MY SEETERHHH JUS STOPPEDHH IN [pause, heavy breath]
SHE SAY TO TELL YOU ALLHH TO HAVE A GOOD DAYHHHH TOOHHH.

Sometimes you just gotta eat effed up samiches and interpret Navajo.
when in Rome......



Wednesday, June 22, 2011

{Pinocchio, the boy with long wood}

I am so sorry for the lack of posting, phone calling, and letting you all know what's going on.
I seriously have a BAD case of writers bloggers block.
I have a list of subjects and stories that I want to share, but my creativity and humor in writing, has come to a crossroads.
WHICH REALLY SUCKS BECAUSE
I LOVE TO WRITE!!!!!!
WTF IS WRONG WITH ME???!!?
My personal diagnosis is that I am not in a comfort zone yet.
A lot of my belongings are still packed in trailers.
I have a make-shift computer station that lacks a printer and a fucking envelope* because it's all buried.
*had an envelope break down yesterday.
It's those simple "norms" and conveniences that I value around me.
Without everything in it's Feng shui place, my mind feels like a shell with nothing but a big hoarding mess.
We are continuing to rent the little grey love shack until we figure out where our permanent landing place will be.
So, until then, I will be mind hoarding in idiotic mind chaos.
The ironic part, is that in the crappy circle of mental prison, 
writing is EXACTLY what I need to do to free it.
I really, really, really, super badly miss it!
I've decided that I need to start posting again.
Even if it's a short ramble, lame content and rediculously boring without pictures.
WHAT AM I SAYING?????
...I have to post pictures...
to me, they are like earrings, 
they add bling and personality, 
and you should NEVER not have them!
I at least have that much sense left!
Anyway, I hope you can put up with the mumbo jumbo for a bit.

Soooooooooo, to the real story at hand.
We stopped in to the local library, which is located in a modular type building, and is only open to lend their outdated books, 3 days a week.
I guess we got lucky to land on a "library open" day since the local swim pool was at capacity (88) and we had to take the kids to do a new outing.
(btw: kids would NOT rather do the library over the swim pool....just an FYI in case you try to change an outing course)
Posted on the cork board was a red flyer announcing Pinocchio auditions at the middle school on June 20.
Jax spotted the sign and nudged me over to read it.
He decided that since entertaining is his passion*, and he is pretty good at it, that he should go to the try outs :)
*so glad he loves himself
To my surprise, Riv piped up that he would like to go too!
(remember his stint with the lead role in a school Shakespeare play?)
Apparently, my boys like the spot light?!?!?!
hmmmm, they must get that from the Rand :)




Monday morning we were excited and hopeful as we walked into the 8:45 auditions.
Both boys received parts (THANK GOD!) that were made for them!!!
Riv was chosen to be the Assistant Director/Stage Manager!!!
He is loving bossing people around, assisting with lines, and making sure that the stage is working play order.
Jax's role is called Candlestick.
Candlestick has a posse of five.
Jax is to act gangsta-ish and make people laugh with humorous lines and actions.
They are allowing him to improv with his own funnies.
He even received a standing ovation yesterday among his peers and leaders!
He threw a holy livin' fit when he was given the part of Candlestick. He thought it was a chinsy role, and he was jealous of Riv's position......
that was until he found out that he has MORE lines than Pinocchio, and he get's to be all, 
YO YO YO HOMEY!!!!
The play opens on Saturday for two showings.

This daily ritual of getting up, dropping off, activity for boys, and then famished/sleepy children.....
brings a sense of "normal" back to my life.
I can't help but love the stimulation of keeping us active in some kind of artsy fartsy funs.

Slowly....we will build our life in the comforts we know :)

loves
xoxoxo

Friday, June 17, 2011


{Harley-Davidson Parking Only}


Randy pee'd his pants a little and then screamed like a hormonal girl when he saw that our neighbor was having a yard sale!!!!!
AND IN THAT YARD SALE WAS THIS HARLEY!!!!!!!
This very unique Harley.


Yes, it's a 3 wheel (trike) Harley-Davidson golf cart.
Look close and you can see the red/purple flames overlapping the sparley black paint.
vrrrrrmmmm, vrmmmmmm cool!!!



Randy only spent $200 on the cart!!!!!
We were thrilled by the great deal our nice old country folk gave us :)
And then I pee'd my pants a little, and screamed like an ugly girl with no date to the prom, when he came home with $800 worth of BATTERIES for the damn thing!


The kids love it!!!! 
I'm gonna love it once I install some of those twirly-bird wind flags and a few of those 4-wheelin spot lights on the top so I can see my way home from Chelise's while being too intoxicated and scared to walk alone in the dark.
In the Verd, it's legal to 
drive drunk in golf carts
throw yer kids in the back of an open truck bed with no seat belts and drive 45 mph down a rutted dirt road with everyone bouncing like ping pong balls
and burn anything that you can fit in a steel barrel right out front of your house!!!!!
Super FUN!!!!
Come visit me people!
Doesn't this golf cart and the poisonous toads and barrel fires lewer you in?!?!?!?
If that answer is no.....then let me tempt you with a possible experience to the main street in Verde town.
THERE IS A FEED/LIQUOR/LOTTO/AMMO
store........
 with a drive up window!!!!
Now come on!!!!  You have to admit....
You aint never gonna see one of those in the big city!!!!




Thursday, June 16, 2011

{small town drug problem}



Meet Roxy.
She's the red headed bitch step child to Chelise.
Roxy is brilliant when it comes to herding cattle, horses, or kids......
but there is another side to Roxy that we are all concerned about.
ROXY HAS A TOAD ADDICTION!
A POISONOUS TOAD ADDICTION!

At first, we all would feel bad for her when we would see swollen eyes and mouth frothing from the side effects of toad poison.



We must have been in a denial that one of our own had a problem.  They say that denial is common in parents, and we have chosen to NOT beat ourselves up for it.
We finally opened our eyes to the fact that ROXY eats poisonous toads for the hallucination high of it!
This bitch is stoned out of her mind!
She lays around drooling with her eyes drugged into slits.
Her head sways back and forth as if everything is moving in slow motion.

I hadn't realized that we were moving to a small town drug problem.
I think we have lost Roxy to the toads, but It's been a good subject to talk to Miss Kitty about.
M.K. has pledged to be toad free and also skunk free.

Hopefully we can save at least one dog life out of telling our story.


Tuesday, June 14, 2011


{hi friends}

I am able to take a moment and update you on our life up to this point.....
BUT first, let me give you a little behind the scenes to our move.
On Easter weekend, we came to AZ to visit our family.
It was a very tearful, heart-wrenching goodbye as we made our way back to UT.
Randy turned to me and said, 
"Can we just move already?!?"
He's been wanting to make the move for years.
I dug my feet into the Utah soil thinking that that's where my everything was.  Utah is all I know besides the few 8 years growing up in Idaho.  We had set up our Utah life to work for us...boys had a great scout group, Randy had a kick-ass job, I had a running clinic which broke my foot, and we all had great friends.
It was too overwhelming for me to leave something that was already OK.
But after much love and support and help was offered to us by my AZ family, I went with my heart and told Randy,
 "yes, we can move."
It only took a week, and he had already landed a great job in Flagstaff, we had 4 good offers on our house and it sold within 2 days!  Before I knew it......my AZ family was in UT ready to pack us up and caravan outta there!!!!!!


This is the view from my car.
It's very emotional watching my life travel down the freeway.



We moved on Memorial Day.
One truck load was sent with Justin the day before, and one more will come up with Paula and Jay D in a few weeks.  The rest of it we smooshed into these three cargo trailers and two cars.



Miss Kitty sat in the passenger seat next to me.
We rocked out to Kings of Leon, cried a little bit, and prayed outloud for safety to all who graciously took time out of their lives to create this move for us.
Amazingly, out of all the vehicles, trailers, and tires involved, we didn't have ONE problem!
The wind and angels were at our back pushing us the entire way.

The first week we stayed at Chelise's beautiful casa....we all collapsed and needed that week to rejuvenate.
Then a little grey house next door came available for rent.
We spent the next few days cleaning and moving in.


(front)
Welcome to my little love cottage :)


(back)
The house is 1800 sq ft. (2000 sq. ft smaller than my UT house!!!)
3 bedrooms 2 baths


I can see Chelise's house from my back porch.
A ditch divides the two properties and we are working on building a bridge to make easier access.


The view from the road


Elise bought us this bell for a house warming gift.
When the bell tolls, it means a couple of things......
it's dinner time, or beer:30.
Sometimes it means both.
Chelise can hear it from her house....
since my celly gets almost NO reception in this neck of the woods, we have gone to communicating in bell language.   
A good yell "CAW CAW" can also be heard and interpreted into whatever you want too.


(kitchen)


(dining/living room)


(master bedroom)


I've already lost Riv to the country.
He's been cleaning stalls and mowing lawns in trade for horse riding lessons from Chelise.
She says hes a natural and they both enjoy sharing the equine passion together.


A pretty common sight is:
~kids painted in mud and barefoot from swimming in the ditch and catching water skeeters
~BB gun bottle shootouts
~and these supah fun tractor/wagon rides.

Well, I hear the goats calling me....guess I better go kick a turd now.
I promise to add more posts and humor soon.....
I've just been a lil' bit busy lately :)
please forgive me.

btw: to those of you who placed a bet on me wearing camel-toe Wranglers and shit kickers by now were totally wrong!!!!
(and you know who you are! 
(((((Paula and Adrianne!))))))
I only wear a bun and prairie skirt!
SO THERE!











Saturday, June 4, 2011

{no hitch in this giddy-up}


Well, we made it to our destination without any bumps in the road.
Life is moving along with a sense of normalcy and comfort.
??is normalcy a word??
That is, if you wanna count walking goats on leashes down the road with two dogs herding their every move.  All the while, four kiddies are zooming past on wobbly bicycle tires with wind and dragonflies blowing in their hair... normal.

This is my new normal.
And I/we love it.

More adventures to come soon....
moving convoy pics on their way!!
stay with me people....stay with me!
xoxoxoxo

btw:  i suk at spelng and spel chek iznt workng, so u hav to ber wit me on thiz one.
woo woo kearns high for giving me a great edgumication!!!