{Just a voyeur}

Jax has been begging me to drop him off at the local "skate park".

Ya know, the kind of cement park that was made specifically for those who enjoy casts, stitches, oozing abrasions, cracked tail bones, etc.

I promised to take him, but only if I could stay and watch.

He agreed, but with the condition that we act as if we don't know each other.

OK, fine......we shook on it.

I took Miss Kitty, a sun visor, and aviator glasses as my decoys......

I didn't look like a mother worried about her little boy being alone in a big park with all kinds of strange people flying off of stairs and grinding wood on rails!!!!

Hell NO!

My incognito was working!

I looked like a middle aged lady, that loves to walk her cute old lady dog and pick up dog shit with a baggie three times because her old lady senile dog gets the excited poops when she is in new territory!

Jax was feeling anxious about the amount of people and the thoughts that these kids are PRO'S and would totally cream him!  I watched as he held his board in one hand and his helmet in the other, standing by the entrance, hoping for a personal invitation to attend.

I walked around the baseball field a couple times and headed back to check on Jax.

MY HEART STOPPED!!! 

WHERE IS HE?!?!  

WHERE COULD HE HAVE GONE? 

 I WAS ONLY AWAY FOR MAYBE FIVE MINUTES!

OMG!!!! 

I'M GOING BLIND, DEAF, AND READY TO PEE MY PANTS FROM FEAR!!!!!!!!!! 

"JAX!!!!!!

JAX!!!!!!

JAX!!!!!!

PLEASE BE INSIDE THE GATES!!!"

I'm yelling internally to myself.

Just as I am about to ditch my disguise and yell

"CODE  ADAM!!!",

I see Jax at the top of a ramp mustering the courage to roller-fly down it.

There are others whizzing by him showing off their tricks.  It seems that the more Jax see's his competition, the more courageous he gets.

He doesn't know that I am watching.

I have perched Miss Kitty and myself behind a tree sitting Indian style in the grass.

"uh, uh there he goes!!!!"

I excitedly say in a quiet breath.

HE DID IT!  OMG!  HE DID IT!

For the next hour and a half I watched as he mastered a smaller ramp and worked on defeating the larger.  I was thrilled by his way of soaking in moves and technique from seasoned boarders.

He so badly wants to be good at this sport.

"Baby steps", I tell him.....

but I know to myself that Jax doesn't do anything in baby steps. 

It's either do or die. 

 I always pray it will be the "do".

I watch in amazement of  Jax's driven focus and total lack of concern if people like him or not.

I used to think these were negative traits that would be to his demise.

I am re-thinking this now.......

I envy his power of self-security.

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Hopefully there will not be an emergency room addition to this story :)