{Damon}
I love you
I had a dream that I came across a picture of Damon carrying River on his shoulders as a toddler.
They both had a carefree smile and joy in their eyes.
I was confused because Damon died four years before River was born.
I was in mourning when I awoke because I wanted to have the luxury of looking at that picture every day.
Maybe the dream-picture was just a way of showing me that Damon will help me carry my boys to higher ground when in need.....
I want to believe that.
(Damon's pride and joy...
his red Ford truck with the license plate
"NO SNIVELING")
16 years living without Damon....
It sounds so obscene to hear that sentence out loud.
Time goes by faster with each year passing....
Time makes the pain more bearable.....
But time cannot stop my love or the pining I have for my brother......
and I continue to snivel.
5 comments:
Oh Jol-what a bittersweet dream. I love your interpretation of the dream.....that he will be there to help you carry your boys to higher ground when you need to. I can't help but notice in each picture with him that you somehow seem to show a mothering position towards him....your arms around him, trying to work the camcorder to record a special event in his life, the china??? (I've got to hear about that story). I'm sure he learned about carrying those in need from a very loving older sister. I think you've earned a lifetime pass to snivel.
Where is He when we need Him most??
I am sniveling as I write this Post!
The Dream speaks of a Deja-Vu, for Damon, River and yes, You too.
I feel His shoulders are wide enough to carry us ALL through the tough stuff.
Often I remind myself: In spite of my pain, I cannot let his early passing be in vain. Let me live in a way that allows us all to be a family once again.
Missing U, Damon. Kissing U, Jolie
Wishing the Family to reunite slowly.
I know one of the hardest things about not having Damon here with you is missing out on seeing him love and interact with your boys. Maybe that picture was to remind you that he does every single day through you and your love for all of them. I love you!
Adrian, that is exactly my feelings, too. I believe he wanted to show you that he is with them, always. I am glad you got to see a picture of what that would look like. I know you can feel his love for the boys.
16 years........
Love you Jo!
Ditto,Ditto and Ditto...some days there are no words.
E
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