{There's a hole in my bucket}

At close to midnight last night, I was reading the "bucket list" that my good friend Amie posted on her blog.

She had 15 things listed. 

All of which I could actually see her accomplishing someday.

As I logged off the computer and went to bed, I asked myself, "what would my bucket list be?"

Sadly,  my first thoughts were what I DON'T want to do in this life, the close second thoughts were, what I want to do for others to fulfill their bucket list and accommodate their life.

I see this as a problem.

(duh!!!  I'm just catching on)

My bucket can't be full when I'm filling other peoples buckets with MY water.

AND.....AND

Why am I only allowing my bucket to be half full by thinking of only of the things I don't want to experience???

Answer:  Because what I do effects so many others. 

Even if it's something I enjoy to the depths of my core,

it could be detrimental to someone I love.  

Example:  Traveling to a dream destination. 

What if I die, get arrested, get mad cow disease,  spend too much money, have too much fun, decide not to come back.

I can't get past the infinite responsibility I hold to people outside of myself.

It's a pretty harsh sleepless night realizing that you don't even know what you drive to see, do, or feel because there are too many "what if's" involved.

But what you do know, is that you are living life through others and in fear of your own.

Maybe this all comes down to the simple complex fact that I am a mother.

Jolie's Bucket List

#1~Delve into mind, heart, and soul and find a passion that has nothing to do with anyone but me.

#2~Add lines to this bucket list.