{Remember.......It's for the children!}

Saturday afternoon, I took the boys to THE most bizarre children's birthday party ever.
It started with the invitation.
It said the party was at a WVC bowling alley, and it was from 12:00-12:30.
I've never seen a child's party contained to one half an hour, but these people must be well organized and very anxiety stricken to have parents do the "drop off" and not come back for 4 hours.
I had been trying to RSVP since receiving the invite two weeks ago.
There was always some kind static/buzzing noise when it said to leave a message.
I couldn't get a hold of anyone.
Finally, someone answered Saturday morning.
Answered with a gruff, "YAH?!?"
Should have known where the rest of the day was going with that kind of greeting.

{quick background}
The little birthday gal is raised by her Russian, broken English speaking grandmother.
And is more of a little sister to her mentally disabled, continually angry birth mother who also lives with them.
So, I kind of knew going into it that there are less than normal circumstances.

What I didn't know going into this, is that I was going to get my ass royally chewed out by the old bitty that runs the bowling alley, and that I would be co-entertainer,and  party organizer to the children at this party.

Arriving at noon promptly, I see other parents/children from Jax's class.

No birthday girl.

At 12:15, the Bowling Alley Bitty, we will call her BABS for short, came over to ME, and said that if we don't get this party started, she is taking our lanes away, and giving them to someone else!!!
Someone else????
There's NOBODY here lady!
Well, except the gang of mullet, toothless, trucker hat wearing, take bowling wayyyyy too serious league in the first three lanes. But other than that, nobody.
AND this is NOT my party!
I said, "well, I have nothing to do with this.  I'm sure they will show up soon"
Babs said, "well you better tell them to get here now.  I'm charging them full price for the time I've been waiting."
I say in a calm, 'keep it together Jolie' voice, "do what you have to do I guess.......but I don't have anything to do with this (repeating myself for the second time).  I'm just bringing my kid to a party."

The birthday girl and her posse came as I was having my no-ass shredded from the Babs. 
 Now I'm having palpitations.....remember the party ends at 12:30!?!?!?
By my calculations, that gives us exactly 12 minutes.
hmmmm, must have been a typo on the invite, but at this point I had my fingers crossed that 12:30 was a true end time so that I could be done with this strange event, go get a cup o' joe and move on with my day.

Grandma Russia comes in like she has a Glucosamine with Chondroitin overdosed high.
Jumping around in excited bliss.
She boisterously announces that her and the entire family of the bday girl, had NEVER-EVER-NEVER bowled a day in their life!
{{{{{Awe......isn't that greeeeeeaaaaattttttt!}}}}
I find it amazing that you would throw a party in a situation you know nothing about!

Randy calls me as he is leaving work to find out how things are turning out.
I say, "get down here now.  I'm throwing a birthday party and I need your help stat!"
He was on his way.
Myself and two other parents get the children their shoes, lane bumpers, balls and names in the computer.  A computer from the freakin 70's that blanks out and resets at any given moment!
FRUSTRATING!!!!!!

Gma and her Russian friends are playing on their own lane....laughing....talking Russian garb....and forgetting that this is THEIR party that me and two other parents are running!
Is this just a cultural difference?
I'm confused.

Time is getting to the nub.....Babs wants us out at 1:30 on the nose.
Two small cardboard pizzas are thrown on the table along with one pitcher of soda.......
for 15 people.
Didn't need much more than that because the adults were not included on the offer of drinks or eats.
I would have preferred a something on the rocks right then anyhow.

I got the kids around the bday girl, gave them all a cupcake and had her start opening presents....After the fourth present, gma Russia came over and said, "Oh!  It's present time? (unaware of what we have been doing this whole time) I forgot my camera.  Will you take pictures with your camera and email them to me?"

Sure :) 
ARGHHHH!!!
Self control Jolie......

After quickly saying goodbye,
we were running out of the joint.
I truly mean running.
Again, running in 3" wedges.
I'm getting pretty good at balancing those puppies in a sprint!

This was one of those head shaking, WTF? times that made me take three Midol, an extra shot of espresso, and two bottles of wine later that eve.
The boys were even in a state of shock once we were in the car.  Riv said, "that was the weirdest birthday party I've ever been to."
Jax said, "oh ya??? Try going to school with that girl! You have no idea mom.....NO idea!"

I could have/should have turned this into a lesson of appreciation for the boys.
I could have said, "Be happy you were invited. Maybe this is bday gals first party ever.  Maybe gma Russia has different ways of doing things....doesn't mean that it's wrong.  Be glad that mom and the other parents were there to help."

But I didn't say that.
Because I didn't feel that.

I said, "Weird???? Yah, you think?????  This was freaky!
OMG...get me out of this place!"

No possitive learning lesson that day.
Sometimes you just gotta call it for what it is.