{whew.....this one got me}
I just got done watching an hour episode of this series on abc.
As the title says, it is about birth parents/siblings/children, looking for help to find one another.
My eyes are swollen and wet, my head pounding from emotional express........
I am sad that I watched this.
It is a selfish sadness.
It is a reality that I will more than likely have to be involved in the future.
I can be outside of myself, and have true happiness for the featured families, and their blending success.
Being real with my inside self is a different story.
I am not ready now, or can even foresee in the future, me wholeheartedly accepting my children's quest in finding their biological families.
I can smile and say some kind of bullshit people want to hear from me.
Things like, "no! I'm not insecure about how my children feel about being adopted"
"my kids have so much love in THIS family, that there will be no reason for them to search, or even wonder about their family tree"
I would be up in the darkest night if I truly believed these statements.
I am a realist and a scared mum when it comes to the future of this subject.
My hope is that I will be content and accepting to my boys' choices.
I just know that right now, this very minute......I don't like the thoughts of it.
(P.S...Paula, don't feel bad at all for calling me about this show....really! Because I know you will. Don't!)
As the title says, it is about birth parents/siblings/children, looking for help to find one another.
My eyes are swollen and wet, my head pounding from emotional express........
I am sad that I watched this.
It is a selfish sadness.
It is a reality that I will more than likely have to be involved in the future.
I can be outside of myself, and have true happiness for the featured families, and their blending success.
Being real with my inside self is a different story.
I am not ready now, or can even foresee in the future, me wholeheartedly accepting my children's quest in finding their biological families.
I can smile and say some kind of bullshit people want to hear from me.
Things like, "no! I'm not insecure about how my children feel about being adopted"
"my kids have so much love in THIS family, that there will be no reason for them to search, or even wonder about their family tree"
I would be up in the darkest night if I truly believed these statements.
I am a realist and a scared mum when it comes to the future of this subject.
My hope is that I will be content and accepting to my boys' choices.
I just know that right now, this very minute......I don't like the thoughts of it.
(P.S...Paula, don't feel bad at all for calling me about this show....really! Because I know you will. Don't!)
3 comments:
OK-I did feel guilty for calling you to watch this show but I think I made it up to you for the call last night about Rob Thomas on TV. Anyway-I would imagine it's extremely difficult to think about the time in your kids lives where they can choose to meet their birth parents if they choose. Maybe they will never desire to meet their biological families. And if they do, maybe in a way it will be a relief for you when it happens because you won't carry the anticipation of that any more. Trust me-I've been on the other side of it as a sibling-it's different. The connection is felt but it's just not the same as the siblings I grew up with. I think my 1/2 sister would agree that meeting her biological parents has made her relationship with her "real" parents stronger. A wise man I know says, "Blood is thicker than water BUT love is thicker than blood."
good things to think about. especially your last line.
Thanks girl!
I don't know what to say about this one......I know that this will be something in which you will be dealing with,....someday, and in some form. I can't help but to want the boyz to be adults when they decide they would like to delve into this unknown. My personal opinion is that most things like this are better left alone, unless for the individual, it is something in which they feel they can not be complete, unless fulfilling the desire to make contact with biological parents and siblings.
I feel it is a road in which there can be closure and possibly some form of a relationship, but there is also the possibility of rejection and additional pain. I feel a person needs to evaluate the current relationships in which they already have. Would it be wise for them to open that pandora's box????? I lean towards no.
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