{quit fingerin' my dough dude!}

While shopping at Sam's Club, which was the same dreadful day I was blindsided by the cow tongue heap (see the previous post),

I bought a tub of cookie dough.

I specifically remember my fingers being very busy texting Chelise, so I had to mime-mouth-point-head-side-guide in Jax's face to grab the tub for me.

(yes, it took all of those actions for Jax to understand the universal language of "hey! grab that shiz!")

See, Jax is a baker, a shaker, and thank god not a candle stick maker.  What a mess that would be!

I usually try to make a "healthier" version of cookie dough to keep on hand when Jax needs to feed his addiction.

But this particular day, I said, "Oh, who gives a shit!" and paid $7 for a glob o'crap that I encouraged my kid to woof down.

Jax likes cookie dough baked or unbaked by the spoon full.

ALL RIGHT!!!  ALL RIGHT!!!

I KNOW ALREADY!!!

JAX COULD GET MELANOMA FROM EATING THE RAW INGREDIENTS!!!

QUIT YELLING AT ME!!!!!

OH WAIT, OR IS IT SALMONELLA???

I CAN NEVER REMEMBER.

So, my point is...!...

 that sometimes the little things just need to truly

not give a shit in our lives!!!

We take everything so freakishly serious, and I for one want to scream, 

"eat raw dough balls everyone!!! 

take a chance in life! 

weeeeeeeeee!"
Okay whatever! 
It's all fun and games until someone gets the dysentery squirts!

As I was saying....

I was texting Chelise, 

I had Jax do the job of "dough to the cart",  

and trusted that we would get a product fully sealed and fully full.

WRONG-O DONG-O!!!!!!

This is what we got

.

.

.

.

.

A container 1/2 empty with finger marks going through the evidence.

OK, my question to you........

Do people seriously get sooooo famished during their shopping chore, that they stop in the dairy section to grab a little snackie and then pretend like it never happened????

Because we all know there are plenty of those little carts with little crotchety old ladies, demonstrating the flavors of spreadable cheese!

NO ONE needs to be going to the lengths that the "cookie monster" went to for a "tide me over".

I wanna see some hidden camera footage of this going down!

My suspicion is that is was an employee.

(it's a little know fact that I could be from the Nancy Drew lineage.  I'm very good at finding evidence, investigating the purp's involved, and solving the crime in record time!

Just ask my kids!)

I'll bet that he choses his snacks wisely, and has a twisted fetish for stealing foods and getting away with it.

Someone needs to do an snack smack down on the donut, pumpkin pie, croissant, and candy isles!!!

Who knows where this sick-o has rummaged!!!

I guess it's that employee's way of stickin' it to THE man!!!

Well Mr. CookieDough assulter employee!!!!

Lemme just tell you right now!

1) I don't appreciate getting my dough all fingered

2)  I'm not THE man...so quit stickin' it to me!!!!!

gah!!!!

Sam's Club is on my cah cah pooh pooh list!