{READ MY LIPS LISA!!!}
I went to Bikram yoga with Lisa Tuesday night.
STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!
Lisa had been two times prior.
She is an athlete.
I have NEVER been,
and am NOT an athlete.
It showed me that I am not as strong as I thought I was.
Yah, that part sucked too!
For those of you who do not know what Bikram yoga is, let me explain.
~You are in a room about the size of 7 parking spaces that permeates foot and ass.
~The room is heated to a scolding 120 degrees. The above picture seriously depicts how you sweat in a 120 degree room!.
~Filled to maximum capacity with mostly hard bodies.
~90 excruciating minutes of:
sweat dripping off of the end of your chin while your left leg is around your forehead, one arm under your crotch, the other holding your right leg behind your ass, and balancing on a pinkie finger.*
A special addition was smelling the dude with dread locks in the left corner. He wears his thin, grey Fruit of the Looms as his contortion attire. His sweat drips from the "naughty" region.
Ewwww.
About 30 minutes into what I imagine hell would look and reek like, I got Lisa's attention, and because it ruins the energy connection with higher powers, I couldn't use sound, so I lip synced as obvious as possible,
"I - HATE - YOUUUUUUUUU!"
After my insides finished cooking themselves and the nausea and migraine subsided,
I committed to go again.
I'm pretty sure it fried my brain in the same ways acid hits or marijuana would.
I'm a glutton fool that has something to prove to myself......
that I really am a strong as I believe I am.
This time I will take nose plugs and bleach to clean my eyes from the F.O.T.L man in the corner.
I'm thinking that I would only have to do this a couple more times, and I could sweat my 10 holiday pounds off!
*everything in story true, except the part of balancing on pinkie finger......
it's actually the birdie finger. I stand corrected.
OH! and I don't really hate Lisa :)
STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!
Lisa had been two times prior.
She is an athlete.
I have NEVER been,
and am NOT an athlete.
It showed me that I am not as strong as I thought I was.
Yah, that part sucked too!
For those of you who do not know what Bikram yoga is, let me explain.
~You are in a room about the size of 7 parking spaces that permeates foot and ass.
~The room is heated to a scolding 120 degrees. The above picture seriously depicts how you sweat in a 120 degree room!.
~Filled to maximum capacity with mostly hard bodies.
~90 excruciating minutes of:
sweat dripping off of the end of your chin while your left leg is around your forehead, one arm under your crotch, the other holding your right leg behind your ass, and balancing on a pinkie finger.*
A special addition was smelling the dude with dread locks in the left corner. He wears his thin, grey Fruit of the Looms as his contortion attire. His sweat drips from the "naughty" region.
Ewwww.
About 30 minutes into what I imagine hell would look and reek like, I got Lisa's attention, and because it ruins the energy connection with higher powers, I couldn't use sound, so I lip synced as obvious as possible,
"I - HATE - YOUUUUUUUUU!"
After my insides finished cooking themselves and the nausea and migraine subsided,
I committed to go again.
I'm pretty sure it fried my brain in the same ways acid hits or marijuana would.
I'm a glutton fool that has something to prove to myself......
that I really am a strong as I believe I am.
This time I will take nose plugs and bleach to clean my eyes from the F.O.T.L man in the corner.
I'm thinking that I would only have to do this a couple more times, and I could sweat my 10 holiday pounds off!
*everything in story true, except the part of balancing on pinkie finger......
it's actually the birdie finger. I stand corrected.
OH! and I don't really hate Lisa :)
5 comments:
I'm confused....why on earth would you commit to go again? Did you like it or hate it?
Paula~ why are you confused by my conflicting emotions???? You know that I am not right in the head!!
to answer your question:
I HATE IT!
But I am going to give myself one more chance to prove my strength and possibly learn to like sweating my balls off.
It is very empowering to know that you can hold out through a class like this. Wanna go? he he!
Paula...you should go! It is awesome...once you get past the sweating, 120 degrees and the stinky people invading your personal space. Nothing to prove here...just getting rid of the toxins and the demons inside!
I like being toxic and if my demons left, who would I talk to? Now you know what menopause feels like!!
Auntie E
We agree with E.
T.
Post a Comment