Friday, April 17, 2009

How to be a good listener......what did she say??



I am continuously working on expanding my thoughts and my interactions with others......this is just one on my list of things to work on. I like to remind myself the importance of how it makes others feel valued. If you too feel that you could be a better listener, then here are some helpful hints.
So how can we learn to be good listeners? Here are some common ideas that seem to work wonders in any relationship:

1. Learn to listen using eye contact: Let the speaker know that you are interested in what is being said.

2. Be slow to speak: Sometimes, people speak to think out loud. Sometimes, all they really want is a shoulder to lean on and a willing ear to listen. By being slow to speak, you are allowing the speaker to work out or solve problems themselves.

3. Keep the secret: People trust you with information because they believe that you will not gossip and spread slander. Keep their trust by keeping things private; between the two of you.

4. Be Attentive: Learn to actively listen. Let the speaker know that you are actually listening, although you are not speaking, by saying things like, "yeah, hmmm, I know, thats true, okay, that makes sense," and so forth.

5. Show Gratitude: Let the speaker know that you feel honored that they were able to open up to you. If nothing personal was said, than let the speaker know that you had a great time listening and that you learned a lot. In a society that forgets to show gratitude, a simple use of kind words, can make someones day a little brighter.

6. Stay in Tune: Dont disappear in the middle of the conversation because your mind wandered. Whether you actually get up and walk away or let your mind wander elsewhere, its just plain rude. If you find that your attention span is small, actively repeat what is being said to you as the speaker is speaking.

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