{Q: Where's the beef?????? A: On my back!!!}

OH----MY----HELL!!!!!

We are getting things rolling for my 20 year anniversary party.
(details to come....so exciting.....you all are invited)
I got a hankering to try on my wedding dress and veil.
Seriously....I had it in my distorted image, that I would slip that puppy on, and it would fit probably better than it did on my wedding day.
Cuz you know, I was only 18, and still had that teen baby fat and all!
Well, I had to call in back up.....which would be Randy.
No amout of tugging, sucking in, and vice gripping was going close the 1-3 inch space and pull the zipper to the top.
Apparently an entire summer of Bud Light and minimal treadmill makes your belly, back and boobs HUGE!!!! Who would have thunk it??
My poor veil was smooshed and the wires that would be sitting on my forehead are pokey and exposed.
Ah man! I love that veil. She will need some tuning up!

I had Randy call the boys up to see me in my glory....the half zipped, unbreathable dress, and the rigimortus veil, crookedly sitting on top of my head.
The boys love seeing me in dresses...maybe cuz that has only happened twice in their life. I really thought they would be mesmerized by their mother's beauty.
WRONG!
Zip couldn't quit laughing, and Pop said, "well, I'm glad they didn't do a thing at school where you have to bring your parents in their wedding dress! I would be teased the rest of my life for this one!"
He was speaking the hurtful truth!

Jolie's going to fat camp! And detox camp! And No more beer camp!
This sucks!