{I kicked a turd}

I am confessing to an immature, wrong, and disgusting behavior I chose to use in public.
Trust me.....I am embarrassed and ashamed by my actions, and this takes a lot for me to admit my story to you.....it is the first process of my repentance.  Thank you for listening.

T'was a Friday afternoon, last Friday to be exact, that Miss Kitty had her 6 week beauty appointment.  She had been two weeks overdue at this point, and coming off of an AZ trip made this date with the groomer even more urgent.  You see, Miss Kitty loves the Largent Ranch for many reasons, but her love of horse shit is what keeps her coming back.  Horse shit to roll in, horse shit to eat, horse shit to shit......like a delightful "all-u-can gorge buffet". 
Miss Kitty was reeking of a pile of AZ dung pie.

As we pull into the CAL Ranch parking lot, MK noticeably gets the jitters.  She has always been a 'Nervous Nelly' about certain things like fireworks and the vet, but with age, she is now trembling because of the beauty shop.  We shakily walk to the door, MK sniffin' out any kind of off breed mutt that has been in the joint.  The gals at the front registers give the "welcome!" with a smile and country girl hand wave.  I reciprocate and continue walking to the back of the store where MK is soon to be pampered.
I feel a tug on her leash, turn around, and with my own eyes, I see my little rose petal taking what appears to be a nervous poop in the middle of the floor!
My eyes are large and the weird "uchkhahh" inhale I loudly made, scared MK enough to only drop one small turd.
Gah-dammit!
I look in my purse for the 87 napkins I had been carrying around for 12 days, and remembered that I had just that morning thrown them away.
Ahhhhhhh, the air comes out of me deep and slow.  I'm irritated because I know that I need to go tell the hick-chick at the counter, yet.......I just wanted to get MK into her appointment without anymore anxiety attacks from either her or I!

So I did it......
I kicked the turd under a candy table.
Then.......walked away.

I know, I'm an evil, immoral, psychopath patron.

After leaving MK in good hands I look in my purse for one last try of finding something to grab the log with.  I find a lonely pocket-purse sized tissue.  Figured it would have to work.  The guilt was starting to overwhelm  me.  I just kept thinking to myself,
"you made a stupid mistake, you can fix this"

I was wrong.....

The turd was gone!!!!
I turned red and went blind looking, looking, trying to see if it had rolled from the candy table to under the horse shoe shelf?!?!
OH MY GOD!!!!  WHERE IS THE TURD?????

Apparently, at some point, someone saw me punt the pooh, and picked it up.
I jogged out of the store with my eyes to the floor.
There is NO way I could face my accusers.

Hours later, I get the call that Miss Kitty is ready to be escorted home......
I thought for a minute about telling the boys that THEY had to go in and get her, but knew that I would need to face my own crap-demons.

The walk of shame to the parlor wasn't as hard on me as I thought it would be.

Nobody stopped me and gave me an "indecent disposal" ticket.

Nobody was snickering in the corner while pointing at me.

Nobody was chanting, "you are are turd kicker, you are a turd kicker".

It was going to be okay.
I surely  won't do it again, I've learned my lesson.
AND my brothahs and sistahs.......
In this life of randomness,
shit happens...
you gotta kick it to the side and move on!