I got permission from my mother-in-law Carol, to share this letter with you. It was eloquently written by her mother, Lois Nelson at the age of 17 in the early 1920's. The recipient was Carol's father, Cornelious Kuipers. They were later married November 11, 1924.
I have enjoyed reading the words of a confused young woman, along with the complex beginnings of a courtship that later turned into a marriage. I hope you enjoy too......
Written with her exact words and punctuation
It says:
Hotchkiss, Colo.
Monday P.M.
My Dear Friend:
I did not seclude myself in an inner chamber but rather to my outdoor sanctuary where I puzzle over my problems, think great thoughts, or go when I merely want to be alone. I am there now. Less than a week ago, I wrote a very heartless and cruel letter to one who had not even asked for an expression of my thoughts. Under the circumstances I felt that the kindest thing I could do was to be heartless and cruel. I shall write this letter in absolute frankness and sincerity, answering your questions as to come to them in re-reading your letter. There is no near-engagements. I have never even thought of loving anyone. I have several years before I shall even be ready to take life seriously. I am being made to realize that I am a woman. Several incidents in the immediate past have revealed to me that I am no longer a carefree girl, but that I must begin to consider the problems which life offers. (And it's offering a good many all at once).
Should you take a position in this vicinity you would take your place on an equal rating with other "suitors", but it is not fair to tell you that, and not to tell you that there is one whom I do not consider a suitor, who does not consider himself one, and whose company I value above all others because our friendship is purely platonic. The other half dozen (more or less) are frankly suitors.
My heart is not untrusted anywhere. It would seem I haven't any, for all the feeling there is in it at present is not love. I feel as if I were not going to love anyone for a long time.I am saying what you asked me to say if it were so, and it is. I care nothing for you except as a friend. You are that to me and nothing more-a very good friend. Feeling as you do, and I, as I do, do you wish to cancel the three dates I gave you? I have college yet before me. I must teach in order to earn the means whereby I shall gain a higher education. I feel as if it will be years and years before I love anyone. I still keep rebelling against growing up.
I fear that if you stay here, it will be hurting you because I am such a cold, unloving person. I think when I hurt someone else, that it hurts me almost as much as it does them. My recent great grief only made me realize the more keenly how much pain can be bound up in the heart.
Sometime, you will find a girl who will care. Who knows who she will be? She will love you with a beautiful, passionate, sacrificing love which you will return. Perhaps I am an idealist, but believe profoundly in a Divine Providence which will make everything come out right in the end. And I don't believe that it is necessarily in the next world that we find our happiness.
You are accomplished, a musician, you possess a personality which I have found interesting, congenial, most of all you are a Klansman. You will find the girl who will be much more worthy of you than I, whom you now undoubtedly think shallow, fickle and the worst sort of a flirt, but I'm not, really I'm not. It's only that you aren't "the one" now, that the "one and only one" for me is still non-existent. If the head could control the heart - but I guess it's better that it doesn't. Love comes unbidden, we cannot know when nor how.
This letter is rambling and far from logical but I have written the thoughts that came to mind.
When you flung that French at me in the orchard, it is queer, but I guessed the exact meaning of it. I thought I understood the word 'devil'. That is why I said it sounded bad.
Give Jones my advise. Tell him to go easy when it comes to Alberta because she is engaged and if he lets it get serious, it's going to hurt him or the other fellow pretty badly. I know the other fellow and he's a good sort, although he is younger than Alberta. She told me once that there was only one person who could ever come between them and that was a fellow she know before she met Lawrence (her fiance).
I'm sending the picture I promised. In view of what I have written, you may not care for it but a promise is a promise and a picture is an easy thing to destroy.
If I have not made myself absolutely clear, please feel free to ask me to explain myself. Perhaps you will not even care to write again, you may wish to forget as soon as possible, but if you do, I shall be glad to correspond with you because I do regard you as a friend.
How shall I sign myself?
I go to burn your letter in accordance with your request.
I am, As ever,
Lois
1 comment:
I really enjoyed reading this. I think of two things in particular while reading this tonight:
1) why does it seem that everyone who lived in the 20's had such an exciting and romantic life?
2) over the years, our English language has really gone to shit.
(point proven-"really gone to shit"-that sounds real proper doesn't it?)
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