My heart beats in the same rhythm as hers.....

As I stared at the name on the return address, a tornado of thoughts filled my head.

1~I always wondered when this day was going to happen

2~I'm scared to read what is inside

3~Is she writing to tell me she is dying?

4~Is she writing to vent pain and anger toward me?

5~Does she want to meet him?

then.....

6~I'm excited to read what is inside....I've missed her

It is a letter from one of our boys' Birth Mothers. It has been years. She is nervous writing it for fear of anger or rejection on my part. She details her life. It is a good life and one that I am in awe of her maturity. She ends the letter with an "I love you" and encloses her home and email address. She wants and needs some contact from me.

What do I do?...what do I do?? What do I want to do??? What is the right thing to do???? My body shook for hours and my legs paced many steps. I knew that writing my feelings was the first step. It morphed itself into a return letter to her. With my heart pounding and my fingers shaking, I started by pouring out my love and respect. Praised her for her bravery in writing to me. The remainder of the letter was emotions and feelings that were important for me to share. I signed off and asked her to email me pictures.

This morning I opened the email....15 amazing pictures were waiting. I have scanned them with my eyes over and over.

What is to come of this??? I don't know. I am taking it slow and letter by letter. What I do know.....Is that one mother' heart beats to the same rhythm as the other.......we are bound forever. Surprisingly, we both needed this....

to be continued.........